My Spring Baseball Soap Box

Given that organized baseball teams are expected to either turn an enormous profit (NY Yankees), break even (Little League), or pay off ill advised Ponzi-schemed investments (NY Mets), I am baffled by the decisions made from a seemingly intelligent commissioner and his business-minded owners. For example...

Why are any baseball games scheduled in domeless stadiums north of the Mason-Dixon line during the first two weeks of April?

NEWS FLASH: Chicago weather is predominantly cold, frigid, and to use a meteorologist's term, "crappy" throughout most of this month. The rocket scientists with MLB have the Cubs playing 15 home games in April...more than those scheduled for June (11) or July (13)...two of the three months we allow our kids to wander outdoors without a coat, ear muffs, and/or gloves.

Couldn't owners like Mr. Ricketts work out a swap with his Diamondback and Marlin brethren?

"OK fellas, how 'bout we take six of those games you were going to play up here in Siberia when, by the way, I can't get a crowd big enough to collectively drink an entire keg of beer, and stage them in 75 degree, low humidity, sunny weather?"

I know, it makes too much sense. This will mean six less mid-summer dates...when the only dopes in these locales who dare sneak outside are either getting chased by immigration officials or desperate competitors in "The Biggest Loser."

Why is professional baseball attendance down so far this year?

Open note to Mr. Bud Selig,

Let me say first off that I love the game. I really do. There is no better sport on earth to watch when played well. I get the tradition and romance associated with baseball, but some changes are in order to attract a few more fans to the games right now...

#1: The weather is too freakin' cold in many stadiums (addressed above)
#2: The average game takes longer to finish than a tax return

#3: Unless you are a single, dieting, AA member or on an expense account, it costs more to take a family of four to a Major League baseball game than it does to lease a car for a month. Oh and Bud, there is still a recession going on.
#4: The season doesn't finish until Halloween and by that time, point #1 kicks into effect all over again

Solutions...

#1: I addressed this in my first soap box discussion
#2: Umpires should actually enforce the expanded strike zone, put pitchers on the clock between pitches and put teams on the clock between innings. Managers should get one, maybe two, trips to the mound for an entire game. Batters should not be allowed to step out of the box more than once an at bat. There, I just saved you about 20 minutes per game.
#3 Owners should create more innovative price plans; maybe even embrace a Priceline-like approach to unload unsold tickets. Finally, owners need to reduce the number of regular season games by at least six. No one will miss 'em. No one.
#4: per #3, start playoffs at least one week earlier

#All of points above: get media professionals like Erin Andrews reporting on the field on a more regular basis (especially in warm weather) to investigate and discuss the strategic nuances of the game. In fact, now that the Jets dumped her, can't we find a place for Jenn Sterger in baseball?